MY CAR: Transmission died. Took it to the shop and it would of cost at least $2,500 + labor. Great. So, I talked to my mom and uncle about it and what I should do. I bought my car from my uncle so I pretty much took his advice, and he said that it wasn't worth the new transmission. My mom agreed. I didn't even like my car that much, ya it was nice that it had leather seats, cd player, sun roof and it was a luxury car...but just not for me. I had it for 3/4 months, paid $1,500 for it. It was origianally $2,500, I was going to pay the rest of the $1,000 when I had the money. (This was when I got into that car accident in October) So, it's $1,500 for 3 months...not worth it. But whatever, it happens. Shit happens. So, right now I am car-less. My mom and brother drive me to school and work monday thru friday. It sucks. Not only for them, but for me too. I hate it that I can't go to the gym, go for a quick drive...I miss my freedom I had when I had a vehicle. Ugh. So, I'm car shopping for now. Stressed with that, money and the car situation in general. FML.
Brian and I have gotten better, off and on fighting but it's over within like 5 minutes. I seriously thought he was going to come back and try again with our relationship. I didn't give up. We hung out a few times and they were fun. We talked, laughed, flirted, and just relaxed with eachother. It was nice having a few "one-on-one time" with eachtoher without fighting. It was actually only about 3 times that we faught in the past 2 weeks. Big improvment, but not quite there yet. Stupid boys. Why do they have to play with your heart? He said that he missed me, he wanted "us" back, wanted me back; but he enjoys the single life. Whatever. At first I seriously didn't know what to do. The more time we talked and spent time together, the more confused I got. I mean, I missed him one day, then the next I really don't. I missed us more than I missed him, I thought. Just the way we act around eachother seemed like it wasn't officially over. Maybe it is, maybe it's not. Right now, we're not talking to eachother. We both need some space from eachother for a while. I think we just get so caught up with our emotions when we talk and hang out that we just need some time to think and do things for ourselves. At first, I was determined to get him back, to prove to him what he's missing. Now, I really don't give a crap. I'm so done with my mixed emotions, him pulling at my heart strings and him just being him. Either way, we both need to grow up a little bit. I listen to a song everyday to keep me going, it's called "A Little Bit Stronger" by Sara Evans. My favorite song right now. It keeps me going, realizing that I CAN make it through this emotional roller coaster. It totally speaks the words I cannot admit or say. I don't deserve him, I've done enough, giving him everything I had.
Well, I honestly can't think for myself right now so I'm going to relax in my bed and get some shut eye. Here's the video of Sara Evan's, A Little Bit Stronger. Enjoy! :)
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