Thanksgiving

As the weekend comes to a close, I come to think about what I have in life. I have a great boyfriend, a loving family and a safe place to live in. This weekend has really helped me realize what I have in life and how much I sometimes take the things I have for granted. I mean, it's not like I don't totally take things for granted, but sometimes I don't think about how much things affect my life in some way. 

I am grateful for my mom for being there and talking to me about things in my life. Even though we get into a lot of fights, disagreements and arguments, I still love her. She's my mom, I'll always love her no matter how much she makes me mad somedays. We have had a lot of good and bad times, but all in all, the good times make up the bad times for sure. I know she will be there for me in my future, to walk me down the aisle when Brian and I get married, when I give birth to my children, etc. I know she will be there for me thick and thin. When it is her time to go, I know it will be a hard time for me, like my dad. I will have no parents after her time has ran out. That day will be one of the hardest days of my life.

Even though my brother and I don't hang out a lot, he's still my little bro and I love him forever...even though he is "anti-sister" sometimes. I really do wish that we would be closer but I think we will be closer when we get older and have children of our own. He will be a great uncle :) Haha...my kids will LOVE him because he will teach my children to be fearless and to enjoy the little things in life. [aside from my hubby of course] I think Matt and Brian will be good friends later on in life. As I'm writing this blog, I hear the boys yelling and laughing as they are playing COD together. First off, Matt has his own group of friends that he ALWAYS  hangs out with, and with him opening up to Brian makes me feel good :) Matt will be the best man at our wedding, he will for sure be a good brother and do that for me :) Hahaha, love you brother :) Also, with our dad passing away, Matt and I have definaetly gotten a little closer because we had to stick together and get through the funeral and be strong today. I consider him my hero in a way, he has not given up for what he believes in and he always sticks to his guns. I'm proud to be his big sister, forever and ever...no matter how mad I get at him...hahaha.

Dad,

Ever since you left things have not been the same. I don't feel like I belong to your family anymore, nor do I WANT to be a "Jahraus". They're so greedy and so freaking dramatic, it's rediculous. Why did you have to leave so soon? Everything happens for a reason, I tell myself. I am doing fine since you left that day. I don't think I've said "thank you" enough when you were walking this earth.You took me in when mom and I had a fight, you made sure I had a roof over my head and you kept tabs on me as much as you could. I wish you would of been there for me earlier in life, but I don't think about that...I don't like dreading the past. This weekend wasn't the same without you...even though you may not of been off for Thanksgiving, there is no one to text, to ask questions and to talk to you. Sometimes I think about how much I need a dad to talk to and to be there to have my back when things get tough. I wish you would walk through the door, alive, healthy and well. But I need to wake up, realizing you're never coming back. I know you weren't much of an infulence in my life but you're still my dad and I still love you with all my heart. I miss you a lot. 

Your little girl,

Sarah Jean <3

Brian, Brian, Brian. It's amazing how much you make me smile :) Honestly, he's the only thing in my life that keeps me sane. Everyday that we talk/see eachother, all my fears, stresses and negative energy goes away. I am so grateful to have him in my life right now. I know I talk about him a lot, but he seriously means a lot to me and he is my world. I don't know, there's something about him that keeps me loving him. We've known eachother for about 6 years and we've been dating 7 months and 4 days today :) It's amazing when you realize how long you have been with a person...it feels like we've been dating for years since we've known eachother for so long. I really can't wait to move in together next year. Freedom baby! I could spend everyday of my life with him and never get bored of our conversations, the company we have and the love we share with eachother. Ever since my dad died, I really noticed how much he is there for me and how much he cares about me. I love looking into his blue eyes and seeing a lot of love and care for me. He also does a lot for me...like go Black Friday shoping for example. Working our way through the crowd, me "embarassing" him at Walmart at midnight and sticking with me throughout the day with a smile on his face.I know that he will take good care of me in the future. I am truely grateful for having him in my life.

So there ya go! There's my busy weekend! Full of midnight madness, money spending, family time and spending quality time with the boyfriend. I had an awesome weekend...aside from a BUNCH of pumpkin pie and Fresca :) [I need to go back to the gym, I think I gained what I lost...not good] I hope you had a good weekend as I did, bloggers!

Life is good:)