And this is about...

I seriously have the winter blues. This is sad...this is the first real "snow fall" of the year. Great, it's going to be an AWESOME winter. [insert sarcasm] Ugh, I hate winter, especially in ND. God, I hate this place...so much. 4 more years and I'm outta here and I will continue the rest of my life happy and warm. BUT I do have Brian to keep me warm during those cold afternoons. Ah, I love having a boyfriend for the holidays. 7 months today, and boy has the time gone by fast. As some say, 7 months today....forever to go :) I honestly do believe we will make it and we will get married one day. We're moving in together next summer already. Soooo can't wait!

So, Brian and I are on a better page than where we were earlier. If you didn't know, we have had a rough month and a half...not good. A lot of jealously, insecurity, trust, lack of communication, grounding, parents, fighting, arguing, and not being on the same page about our relationship. We are finally back on track and honestly, we're better than ever! That makes me SOOO HAPPY!!! I really hate fighting with him, I really do. I am glad we had last weekend to really patch things up, with talking and just spending some time together. We haven't been able to spend as much time with eachother as we usually do because he got grounded due to grades. Grrr. So a lot of those fights was about the grounding, not being able to talk as much, to see eachother and so on. Everything's back to the way it's supposed to be...finally :)

Along from the positvie future Brian and I think of, there are, of course, doubts. I wonder if he will still want to be with me after we move in together. I mean, I've seen a lot of couples that have been dating for 2+ years that were compatable with eachother, break up. I'm sooo worried that's going to happen to us. I hope not, and I have a good feeling that we will make it, but you never know. Time can change. We both have agreed that we cannot see ourselves with anyone else since we have been together. No boy could replace him, ever. I mean, no one else knows me better than him, and vise versa. It would be hard starting over. I mean, if you've known a person since junior high and have been dating them for 7 months, you don't want to start over. There's so much to tell a person, so much to say over and over again. No, I couldn't do that. I don't think I could ever get over him, he is my first real love. It would be hard even getting over him. It was hard when he broke up with me for 6 days, how can I handle not being his partner...forever? I don't want to think about that. I just need to live everyday to the fullest and not worry about the negatives.

My worst fears in life:

- not being able to have children

- having disabled children

- early death of my husband

- early death for myself

- not being financially stable in my future

Enough of that. Hahahaha :)